351.
WHEN PEOPLE TELL ME THEY'RE "SPIRITUAL" I'M LIKE "DEMONS ARE SPIRITS TO... BE MORE SPECIFIC....
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THE FACT THAT THERE'S A HIGHWAY TO HELL AND ONLY A STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN SAYS A LOT ABOUT ANTIC...
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I'LL BET IT'S CALLED "ALMOND MILK" BECAUSE NO ONE CAN SAY "NUT JUICE" WITH A STRAIGHT FACE: ...
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354.
IF I WAS A PLASTIC SURGEON... I WOULD 100% PUT A SQUEAKY TOY IN EVERY BREAST IMPLANT: Funny ...
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355.
I AM PUTTING A VENDING MACHINE IN MY YARD FOR HALLOWEEN. FUCK THOSE KIDS, I HAVE BILLS TO PA...
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EACH TIME A BIRD SHITS ON MY CAR, I EAT A PLATE OF SCRAMBLED EGGS ON MY PORCH - JUST TO SHOW...
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HAVE YOU EVER JUST LOOKED AT SOMEONE AND KNEW THE WHEEL WAS TURNING BUT THE HAMSTER WAS DEAD...
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358.
MY DOCTOR ASKED IF ANYONE IN MY FAMILY SUFFERS FROM MENTAL ILLNESS. I SAID: "NO, WE ALL SEEM...
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359.
DON'T TRY TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF TO IDIOTS. YOU ARE NOT THE FUCKFACE WHISPERER: Funny Blank Lin...
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360.
SOMETHINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNSAID. WHICH I GENERALLY REALIZED RIGHT AFTER I HAVE SAID THEM: ...
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AS I WATCH THE DOG CHASING HIS TAIL, I THOUGHT DOGS ARE EASILY AMUSED. THEN I REALIZED I WAS...
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THE GUY WHO DISCOVERED MILK... WHAT WAS HE DOING?: Funny Blank Lined Journal - Snarky Friend...
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I SERIOUSLY NEED A SPEED BUMP BETWEEN MY BRAIN AND MOUTH: Funny Blank Lined Journal - Snarky...
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364.
ACCIDENTALLY PUNCHED MYSELF IN THE FACE WHILE TRYING TO PULL MY BLANKET UP. IF THAT DOESN'T ...
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365.
SILENCE IS GOLDEN. DUCT TAPE IS SILVER: Funny Blank Lined Journal - Snarky Friend Coworker G...
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I HAVE NEITHER THE TIME, NOR THE CRAYONS TO EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU: Funny Blank Lined Journal -...
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IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, IT'S CALLED "ATTEMPTED" MURDER: Funny Blank Lined Journal - S...
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368.
I HAVE FOUND THAT A VERY EFFECTIVE WAY TO END AN ARGUMENT IS TO ASK THE OTHER PERSON FOR A P...
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DEAR KARMA, I HAVE A LIST OF PEOPLE YOU MISSED: Funny Blank Lined Journal - Snarky Friend Co...
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370.
ALCOHOL: BECAUSE NO GREAT STORY EVER STARTED WITH SOMEONE EATING A SALAD...: Funny Blank Lin...
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I HAVE MIXED-DRINKS ABOUT FEELINGS: Funny Blank Lined Journal - Snarky Friend Coworker Gift ...
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WE'LL BE FRIENDS UNTIL WE'RE OLD AND SENILE, THEN WE'LL BE NEW FRIENDS: Funny Blank Lined Jo...
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DOES ANYONE KNOW WHICH PAGE OF THE BIBLE EXPLAINS HOW TO TURN WATER INTO WINE? ASKING FOR A ...
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374.
OLD PEOPLE AT WEDDINGS ALWAYS POKE ME AND SAY "YOU'RE NEXT." SO I STARTED DOING THE SAME THI...
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PEOPLE TELL ME THAT I HAVE A UNIQUE WAY OF LIGHTING UP A ROOM. IT'S CALLED ARSON AND THOSE P...
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